MUSINGS OF A COMMON WOMAN

[Edie Antoinette]

I was not prepared for what I encountered, but then how could I be? I like it that way though-- because it was pure and unrehearsed. I walked in, looked around, and was immediately arrested by an inimitable beauty, uniquely your's. I struggled then, with all of my might, to get away without looking foolish. With every vestige of my being, I tried to appear only slightly affected ..but you saw right through me. You 'knew'. I'm speechless, and left here to fend for myself. The funniest thing about this is that I can't move--think--breathe. I'm arrested, captured, mesmerized. I believe strongly that this is the way it should be, and even though I can't function in the manner that I'm accustomed to, I relish these moments that have lasted all day and into the night ..and back into the day. I believe it's called love, or maybe it's just the gift of being able to recognize what I see and feel. Oh what a gift. What power... I feel helpless, caught in between what I want to do.. and what I should do ..trapped by my own emotions, wanting and needing to cry my eyes out.. for a release lest I implode and suffer a miserable and pitiable demise. I'm groping, lost--unable to realize a congealing of thoughts .. and I clamor for reality. This feeling is ....so deliciously beautiful. I think I'll ride this soft wave..relax upon it; draw from it--let it lead me to that place that I call home, that inviting shelter...called you. The best part of life is feeling a connection to another, one who can actually 'feel' and understand what you're trying to say. You work so hard to present your gifts to the world, and it seems like nobody notices, or cares-- then someone comes along that 'gets' it, and it scares you practically to ..death. The pureness of it scares you almost into a coma.. Finally, a reprieve from the usual.. a bath of ecstasy ..and oh how sweet. © edie antoinette 2008